Hot take on leadership goals for the new yearHow to set yourself up to lead in 2025 without feeling overwhelmed

In this episode of Lead the Room, hosts Briony and Lyndsey dive into the complexities of setting goals and habits, especially in the context of the new year. They discuss how societal pressures can impact personal growth, the importance of reflecting on past achievements, and the power of community support in goal setting. The conversation encourages a balanced approach to personal and professional development, emphasizing that goal setting should be joyful and rooted in self-worth and joy. The hosts also discuss leadership evolution, embracing change, and the courage needed to step out of comfort zones.

Key Takeaways:

1. Goal Setting Should Be Joyful, Not Joyless: Setting goals should focus on personal fulfillment, not societal pressure. When done with joy, goals become a source of motivation and growth.

2. Community Support Fuels Growth: Surrounding yourself with a supportive community enhances personal and professional development and helps you stay on track with your goals.

Embracing Change is Key to Leadership: Leadership requires flexibility, reflection, and the ability to adapt. Personal growth and professional success are fueled by embracing change and celebrating milestones.

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Full transcript

LeadTheRoom (00:00.27)

Welcome to Lead the Room podcast, where we help those with great ideas and brilliant minds to become amazing leaders and build teams full of purpose, connection, creativity and courage, transforming people's experience of workplaces and leadership. In 2018, we decided that the leadership playbook we saw around us

wasn't working for the needs of our teams and our organisations, or frankly for us. So we ripped it up, built a new one, and watched the incredible impact that came from leading in a completely counter-cultural way. This journey transformed our experience of work, team culture, delivery, and felt so, so good to us. And our approach has served us and our teams in the good times and in the tough times alike. So now we're here.

to share our stories, experiences with you so you can become the leader you want to be, build teams that deliver amazing things in amazing environments, and inspire those around you to do the same. You and your leadership are what our workplace and people desperately need. We'll be laughing, crying, and learning together. Let's get started.

LeadTheRoom (01:23.896)

So, Bryony, this is the time of year, right, that we're all thinking about goals and habits, we? And I don't know about you, but I find that people are in like two camps, right? You're either the sort of person that loves making goals and thinking about kind of habits that you're going to do for the new year, or you absolutely loathe it. So which camp are you in, Well, I think it won't be a surprise to you or any of our listeners that I'm definitely in the goal-making camp. Like, I do love a goal. I like sometimes maybe too many goals.

But I think what I would say is like my sort of hot take, if you like, on goals and habits and New Year's resolutions is that like so often they're like these joyless things that we tell ourselves that we have to do for the year, that we don't really have any passion about doing, but we think that we should be doing because they will make us a better person, whatever the better person is in some way that we're not the better person now. Things that like, you know,

will improve our character, make us bigger, more promotable, more valuable when we already have so much intrinsic value and that they're these things that we kind of castigate ourselves with. And I really hate that. And I think so often in the past, I found myself setting new resolutions or goals for the year and things that I felt like I should be doing, I ought to be doing, that I would be better if I did this.

But deep down, I know that I really care very little for, there's no joy attached and there's no passion. And so am I really going to do them? Of course I'm not. You know, for about five years in a row, I said to myself, I'm going to learn to touch type. was obsessed with learning to touch type because I can't do it. I mean, how have I got to this age, Lindsay, and not been able to touch type, but I can't. Anyway, I didn't ever make that, I didn't ever learn because I just didn't, I really care little for being able to. Just slows me down a bit, which arguably...

many people say, including my team, it's probably a good thing. But for me, that's another good example of like those goals that you set for yourself that really you have no emotional connection to. There's something that you feel like you should be good at because I don't know, somebody, the universe tells you that you should be. And it's about adding like another thing to the 3,522 things you've already got on your list and pressure that you don't need.

LeadTheRoom (03:42.946)

Yeah, I completely agree. And I think that word, they just said like pressure. Like we do. I don't know why we go into these new years, like beginning of the year, who are already probably absolutely exhausted from like busy Christmas periods and like nobody goes into January being refreshed, do they? Like I certainly don't think that's really, I don't know anybody that goes into January feeling refreshed. So why do we suddenly have this, gosh, I've got to learn to touch type by March or whatever it is like also.

Do not learn to touch type because I cannot keep up with the speed of your typing as it is, Briony. So please never do that. I do not want to see a Briony that can touch type. But again, like, so we go in with this quite like negative start to year, there's pressure on us. There's a, need to do better than last year. Like, says who? Like who is, who is telling us we need to do that? And I definitely am guilty of this in past, in past years. I've definitely learned to change and we'll, we can come onto that. But I was definitely someone, Briony, that

loved, and you'll know this, like loved getting my diary for the year. And almost like a sign of kind of pro like a sign of progress for me and almost like a sign of success in a sense, and that I was achieving stuff was to be unbelievably busy. So I would start at the beginning of the year, look through my diary and literally, I'm not even joking, almost fill every weekend and every week with something, right?

Because to me, I was like, okay, well, this is what my year looks like. I know what I'm doing. Now, reflecting on that, I'm thinking, what was I doing? Like, firstly, none of that was actually kind of getting me anywhere. So if it was that if I did want to change something or become better at something, it wasn't, it was just filling my time. And I gave myself this huge list of goals for the year. Why? I have no idea why. Like no one...

told me to do them, I just felt like I had to. And then when I didn't achieve them, I just felt really bad about myself. like, just, yeah, it was awful. And I think, I don't know if perhaps at the time that I was filling my diary with things every weekend, because I didn't actually know what I wanted to be achieving. I wasn't really sure, I wasn't really clear on what is it actually, where do I actually want to get to? What do I want to be better at? What do I want my life to look like?

LeadTheRoom (06:06.69)

by the end of the year, how do I want to feel throughout the year? Like all these love, like things that bring you joy, actually I was stripping all that joy and instead just filling my diary with things I felt like I should be doing. And yeah, it makes you feel miserable. Yeah, and it's cause it's almost like it's too much doing and not enough being, you know what I mean? Like, that's what you were saying about like, you just start from the year feeling like you're not good enough, like you're not, don't, you know, that you haven't done enough.

What a way to start the year when it's like full of opportunity and like you say, you want to feel uplifted. Like, yeah, so that's why, I'm kind of, we've got a framework for people today to walk through that is a bit of a different spin on setting goals and habits for the year. But because the other thing for us at Lead the Room is that you'll have heard us say a few times, like leadership is a practice. It's not something that you go on one course one time and that's it. You're set for life as a leader. It's a practice.

that needs to like constantly adapting and reflecting on and adjusting and changing. And so that's not the kind of thing that you can just like set your intention for the whole year in January and be like, right, well, that's it. That's my leadership plan for the year because life happens in between, right? And you also want to be taking moments each month, each week, each day even, just to think like, am I being the leader that I want to be? Am I accomplishing the things?

that I want to accomplish for me in my career? Am I helping my team be the best they can be? And so that's why, although it's good to have some kind of overarching sort of thoughts for the year and how you want it to go, it's got to come from a place of like things that you actually care about, actually feel passionate about, and that you'll want to do, but also leaving room to like not be, like you say, booked out every moment, every week. This week, I will be focusing on this part of the goal.

because that won't survive contact for the year and you'll end up feeling frustrated and sad, right? Yeah, and I think on that, Bryony, as well, that is exactly what happened. because I didn't actually leave any room for moments of joy that did come up spontaneously, like I couldn't be that spontaneous person. I couldn't actually make adjustments because it was in the diary I'd committed to it. So those adjustments that you say, like in a leadership practice, I couldn't adjust kind of just

LeadTheRoom (08:24.706)

being because I'd committed it in the diary, which yeah, not a healthy practice. So as Bryony says, today we've got a framework for you. And if you have listened to us before and follow us on Instagram, then you will be familiar with our walk the week. Well, we've got a take on this, which is the walk the year. So for part one of this, one thing that we want you to start with is kind of a piece of reflection. So we want you to think about three things that you're proud of.

throughout the year, three things that you've learned as a leader in developing your practice throughout the year, and three areas where you've grown or you've overcome obstacles. So immediately by starting from something that you're proud of, something you've learned, you're not going in with a negative like, this is, I need to be better at this. This is, I failed at this, which is often when we think about kind of new year goals and habits, resolutions, it's all from a negative space in terms of I failed at this this year, I need to be better at it next year.

And by looking back, we can be really proud of what we've done. And as you know, Brandy and I are all about kind of reflecting, taking moments to be really proud about where you've come in your leadership practice and where you're going. And we really want to recognise the progress because as we say, this is a practice, like there's no end, but it's about that continual adjustment. So really notice how you've progressed and also the wealth experience that you now have, how much you've invested in yourself. Like these are huge things.

And it really helps you to start the year from a place of of worthiness. Like, I am enough, right? So often we speak about just like, I'm just not good enough. Like, I failed this year, I need to do better. Whether that's like, I haven't run enough this year, haven't gone to the gym enough this year, I haven't invested enough time in my personal development. We're so hard on ourselves. But if you flip it and start it from a place of, yeah, no, I am good enough. Like, I am worthy of this.

then it just instantly, you can feel the energy in you for the start of the year. And it's just such a wonderful place to start. So, Bryony and I, we're going to share with you kind of our examples, maybe of what we've been celebrating, learning and growing from this past year. So, my big one this year, Bryony, as you know, is so I returned to work after having a baby earlier this year. And this feels just like such a huge thing to celebrate. Not only that, yeah, I think just...

LeadTheRoom (10:47.586)

physically getting back into work. I think, I think I don't think I know I'm really proud of kind of how I've done it. Not least from, think, certainly being kind to myself when I returned. think the pre-mom Lindsay would have just, would have been really, I would have been really hard on myself in terms of I'm not doing this, I'm not doing enough of this. I haven't delivered enough this week as opposed to.

Gosh, look what I have achieved this week. And that's what I've been trying to do and really focus on. I've been incredibly ruthless with my time. And you might have heard in previous podcasts and you'll hear on social media, I think because you do have to prioritize so much if you've got other responsibilities outside work and those responsibilities could be anything, not just being a parent, but I think really proud of kind of being quite ruthless with my time.

Like knowing like how valuable your time is and how you want to spend it at work. So you'll hear Brian and I speaking at previous podcasts about not being kind of a slave to your calendar or to the inbox. Now, the old me would have been like, I would have been full of anxiety thinking, gosh, I haven't gone to that meeting or I said no to that meeting or haven't answered that email. I'm quite happy now. Like it feels quite liberating being like, I don't need to go through that.

Like someone else can go to that instead of me. Like I do not need to be there. So I really, think becoming a mum and having that kind of much clearer focus, because I've had to, like, I'm really proud of where I've come this year. Yeah. it's not been easy, but it's definitely, yeah, it's definitely, I'm getting there. I think in terms of learning, I think, like we say, this is all new. So, I mean, I've only been back to work since May.

So really trying to figure out exactly who I am now, because I think you do change as you become a parent. And I think really just trying to figure out who I am. And I suppose my next steps, like what next do I want to do? Like I've gone back to the role that I was doing for her baby. Like what do I want to do next? And really focusing in on what is it at work that brings me joy? And that will be my guide as to kind of what I do next. And then I think in terms of growing,

LeadTheRoom (13:10.472)

One of the things that I have really noticed over the last year is how I grow and develop as a person if I surround myself with different people. I've definitely noticed in the past that I've maybe have had a habit of having probably just not particularly small, but maybe a very similar kind of group of people that I'd surround myself with in work and outside of work. And actually over the last year, for various reasons, quite different people have kind of come in, come into my life.

And I've really noticed how healthy that's been for kind of fresh perspectives, different challenge, and just to feel like me growing as a person, again, those people putting me out of my comfort zone because they are slightly different to me and challenging how I look at things. And I've found that really, really rewarding. you should, there's so much to be proud of though, isn't there, Lindsay? Like you say, just navigating that back to work stuff and you you should be so proud of how you've navigated that because it's such a difficult time for parents when they come back to the work.

come back to work after having kids. And I love what you're saying there at the end about like meeting new people and how enriching their different perspectives have been to your life. And I think that's an important reminder, because I was just thinking about that the other day as well, right? Well, I actually have had a few meetings in the last couple of weeks with some completely different groups of people that I normally wouldn't have any reason to be in touch with. And it just reminds you of like, actually, no, it's so important, isn't it, to get out there.

to have your perspective challenged and to think, why do I see the world this way? Like what would happen if I saw the world through a different lens? Like how would I think about my team, my job, my life differently? And it's actually just really joyful, isn't it? To meet those new people and hear different perspectives. Yeah, it's fun. And one thing I would say is my return to work definitely helped by Briony on the other end of a voice note, any time of the day.

usually me voice noting from the bathroom in the morning getting ready because that's the only time you get to voice note as a parent. And just having that, I mean, you have been the biggest cheerleader and supporter to me and not even like, and literally on a daily basis, Brownie. So always make sure you have a cheerle... All you need is one. I mean, I've been lucky that I've had loads of cheerleaders, but Brownie is that consistent morning, come on, you can do this, you've got this. And the days that you don't have it, like you being there to kind of say, this is tough.

LeadTheRoom (15:36.908)

Be kind to yourself. You do need that. So as proud as I am myself, like I'm so proud of you to like to have you there kind of supporting me through it. So yeah, couldn't have done this year without you on many levels. Well, likewise, right back at you. Right. So what about you, Bea? What does your what you celebrating learning growing over the past year? Well, I think for celebrating, I think I'm really proud of me and my team and all that we have accomplished this year.

We have overcome some pretty significant hurdles, some pretty busy and turbulent times. And the whole team has just done an amazing job in that. We've navigated a lot of change, like new people coming into the team, saying goodbye to people, all that sort of thing. And throughout it all, it's been a true like team sport. People have had each other's backs. When we've had difficult moments, like we've all lent into courage and like worked through them.

And then we've delivered some amazing things. We've all learned and grown together. Like we've all stretched each other, helped each other, learn new skills, adapt ways of doing things. There's just been a lot of creativity and delivery in the team. And it's just been a really, like truly it's a really special team to be part of. And you know, you have those moments when like all those like moments, all those teams, which are so special to you. And you know that when you look back in your career, when you're like 90, you're going to be like,

That was a special time. This year has felt like a really special time from that perspective. And I'm just so proud of them all and I'm so grateful for them all. And I'm really proud of what we've done together. I can even, I can hear, I'm just gonna say like when people speak about their teams, like I can hear the kind of the joy and the pride in your kind of voice and knowing you and your team is absolutely the team people want to be in. So what you have created is unbelievably special and so much of it.

is obviously down to not just you as the leader, but you showing your team kind of how you can lead, how you can show up using so much of the stuff that we speak about here in Lead the Room, right? Yeah, well, that's all that you're so kind, Lindsay. think it has definitely been. Well, OK, it's hard for me to hear that and accept it. But thanks. I'm going to say thank you. You're working on it. You're working on taking positive feedback. Yeah, it's too early to work on that one, clearly.

LeadTheRoom (18:04.206)

then I think on learning, actually, I would say that one of the things that I've been really trying to learn a lot about AI this year, for a lot of reasons, not least because it is just very present in all of our lives these days, but definitely in a work environment as well for me. so, and again, I'm really proud of how much I've learned. Like I don't come from like a super techie background or anything like that. And so, yeah, I've learned an awful lot and I've been in meetings when I've like, you know, when you kind of look down on yourself, you're like,

you actually know what you're talking about here. Like feel the progress, you've done well. So I'm pretty proud of that. Yeah, amazing. And then growing, think I've done an awful lot of work this year, sort of similar to you, right? On boundaries and just really thinking through like, does this person deserve to have me, like when they present me with an opportunity, does this person deserve to have me work with them on it? Right? And so trying to say,

know more often to be really clear about my own capacity and where I can and can't help people. Also holding a bit of a mirror up when I feel like, you know, people have crossed my boundaries and just say, no, that was not okay, actually. And being a bit more assertive about that, which is like sometimes could be quite hard, it, in the workplace and stuff. So I feel like I've grown an awful lot on that. just, and with that, I've really noticed how my own like mindset, leadership mindset has grown.

in terms of knowing the value I bring and not being willing to like settle for being treated in a way that doesn't honor that. And so I'm again, even just talking this through, Lindsay, it just shows the power of this exercise because even as I talk that through, right, I'm thinking like, yeah, there is a lot to be proud of this year, Briony. You have done a phenomenal job. Go you, give yourself a high five, right? And that feels so different.

to how I would have started thinking about goal setting and habits from a sort of, my gosh, I have not exercised this enough this year. I'm going to be in the gym twice a day. Obviously that's never going to happen or whatever it is, right? But that's so much the narrative. So yeah, it is a really powerful exercise, isn't it? It's so true. And I think that the part there that you just mentioned about when you get to that point about kind of knowing your value and actually how

LeadTheRoom (20:27.34)

Your time is precious. Do you do the, these people worthy of having you work with them on that project, whatever it is. Like once you know that and feel that and you decide whether to say yes or no to something, that feeling is amazing. But it takes time. takes practice, but it's so worth getting there. So yeah, well done because you have had so many challenges like in work, outside work this year, but to look back with that, gosh, like.

I am bursting with pride, not just for yourself, but for your team and everything you've delivered is just, yeah, what a magical way to start the year, right? Yeah, exactly. And we can't wait to hear from all of you as you think this through. And we're actually we've got a free guide for you to help reflect on this. And we would love to hear how proud you feel of yourselves and all that you've done this year as you kind of fill that out. So do come and let us know. So once you've done that, right, you've done the reflection and you're feeling like

pretty good about yourself because you should feel pretty good about yourself, right? The second thing that we're going to do is then think is sort of a future you type strategy. Like let's fast forward to the end of 2025 and let's think about, you know, what would we be really proud of if we had achieved? Like what would we want to be celebrating and how would that feel? Where do we really want to invest in our learning? Like what is it like a concrete thing like my AI example, or is it something more about boundaries or

or something that's less tangible, but what things do you really want to invest in learning? And then thinking about where do you really want to grow? Like what obstacle? It could be a mindset thing. It could be a particular leadership challenge or a team dynamic or drama thing that you're wanting to master feedback, something really practical. Where do you really want to grow your leadership practice? And so doing that, having rooted yourself in feeling proud about yourself.

and then looking forward to the end of next year and really thinking about how do I want to feel? What would I feel proud about myself if I had done these things and if I had grown and learned in this way? That's going to really help you give you some kind of big, you know, three things for the year that you can really focus on when it comes to building your leadership practice. Amazing. So, Bryony, can you tell us what are your kind of three things that you're going to be focusing on for the coming year? So I think

LeadTheRoom (22:43.96)

For me, it's a year of big change again this year. So I think if I fast forward to the end of 2025, the thing that I would want to be celebrating is that I navigated the change for me and my family with compassion for ourselves. And by that, mean like not pushing ourselves to do too much, to really...

you know, be present in the moment that we're in together to really make sure that my priorities between work and home are right and that I get that balance right so I get to be present for my husband and my kids with all the change that we've got going on. So that if I can look back at the end of the year and think like, yeah, I got that balance right. I didn't try and do too much and I didn't do too much. I focused on being. I would feel really proud of myself. Yeah.

And then when it comes to learning, so the thing that I really want to learn this year is obviously, you you and I have built this up as like a little side hustle, the podcast and our website and our Instagram channels. And we're hoping to turn it into a bit of a business, aren't we? So I think that's what I really want to focus on learning is like, how can we grow our audience? How can we make sure that we really understand what the audience, you all listening, what you really want from us, and then how can we create something that is going to going to help you with your develop your leadership practice? So that's my learning one.

And then I think my growth one is about, I've been feeding myself like over this year, like, you know, sometimes when you get stuck like in a pattern of behaviors with a certain set of people, you're like, this is just not positive. And it's bringing out like my shadow side. And I can feel myself like sometimes not dealing with frustrations in the workplace in like a positive way. And so what I really want to focus on when it comes to growing my leadership practice this year is how can I...

still not, I don't want to tolerate, you know, when people are behaving poorly or when things are not going right or, you know, let things slide in terms of delivery. No, I don't want to tolerate that. But equally, when I don't want to it wind me up in the way that I feel like sometimes it is. And I don't know if that's because I'm just a bit tired because it's been a busy year or whether it's just like, like I said, I've just got a of a stuck in a dynamic, but I really want to focus on like exploring like, how can I

LeadTheRoom (25:06.99)

you know, as Elsa from Frozen might say, let it go a bit more. You can tell what stage of life I'm at with my kids. Right. How can I let things go a bit more? Because it has a negative impact on me. And although I can't control others' behaviours, I can control my own mindset, how I feel about things, how I process things. And it's not about denying them, but it's about like not letting them impinge on my time outside of work or more than I want them to. Does that make sense? Yeah, no, it makes complete sense. Yeah.

And I'm sure there's lots of people listening to this today that can relate to that for sure. Yeah. Cool. Big year then. Yeah. And what about you, Lindsay? Yeah. So I think very similar to Bryony, another big year. I feel like every year is a big year in terms of change, isn't it? But I do also just think that's probably like a lot of people's lives. Like there's constant change. And one of the things I suppose that I've been thinking about in terms of, yeah, end of 2025, I have a big birthday coming up in 2025.

I'll let you guess which one you think that is. Please don't say 50. Anything below that's fine, But again, it's really funny because a lot of my friends will be turning the same age and it excites me because I'm a bit like, OK, this is something like it's a year of celebration for me, right? So I think this is a huge milestone as a birthday to have. I'm turning 40, like not turning 50.

If you're like, gosh, you know, the way she was turning 30. Excellent. Then you're getting brilliant reviews as a listener. But I think also to be healthy, to be happy, to be, to be these things turning age 40 is huge. And not everyone has the privilege of aging. And I do see it as a, that this is something huge to celebrate. So I do see the whole year as a bit of a celebration. My dad's got a big birthday too. So I'm like,

like we just have to join this and we just have to have a whole year of celebration. But we do have a big year coming up in terms of physical moves and also kind of taking our son as he kind of grows older into different stages, we'll be entering proper toddler years. But one of the things that I want to do is not just, with Bryony we've spoken about this before, almost just like not settle but do what's maybe what's expected or what we think we should be doing because other people think we should be doing it.

LeadTheRoom (27:34.382)

If that's kind of in terms of like where you're living, what your work kind of schedule looks like. I don't want to just be like, well, I have to do a nine to five job. I have to do this. This is what we have to do. yeah. Said who? Like, depending on the influences in your life and what other people expect you to do. What I want us to do, I'd love by the end of 2025 to almost have a bit of options or to have tried out a couple of different things in terms of

How do we as a family actually want to live our life? And it might not be, could be, this is, and Brownie and I speak about seasons. So things are seasonal. So maybe we try something in 2025 that's not forever. It's a season in our life that we do something, we live somewhere, we work on something. I don't know, but that type of thing really excites me. And I hope that by the end of 2025, that we look at kind of the year and think we've actually been really courageous. We've done something, we've put ourself out of our comfort zone.

done something or are doing something that we didn't just do because we thought we should be doing it, that we're doing it because it excites us, aligns with who we are, what we want out of life, all those types of things and the life we're trying to create. So that's how I want to feel at the end of 2025. I love that. And I just think that you're one of the most courageous people I know, Lindsay. So I've got no doubt. Like, yeah, you are. And like, know, for you, the comfort zone is like a speck on the horizon most of the time. You know what I mean?

So I just feel like that's no doubt you're gonna make that happen for yourself. I really, and I just come to that kind of, when we think about these things as well, this is obviously like a leadership podcast, but it's like the whole of life, right? Like, cause that's what you're talking about there. It's like, then how does your passion for leadership and leading teams and working fit into a feeling and an experience and a way of living your whole life that really works for you? I love that. Yeah. And that's the thing, even in terms of like leadership. So,

I also think there's probably quite a traditional view of a leader is someone that's in the office, nine to five or nine to whatever, eight at night, leading these teams. Well, that is one version of a leader, right? But there are so many versions of a leader. And in terms of like how you show up and how you influence as a leader, that could be in so many different ways. So almost being creative with kind of what does what does leadership look like for me in 2025?

LeadTheRoom (29:59.118)

could look very different to what leaderships looked like for me in 2024. So who knows? And I think the same as you, Briony. So as Briony said, this is our side hustle, but obviously we want to learn so much about this industry and how we can share our learning, our passion with other leaders and those of you who are listening today and learning on how we actually do that. Briony and I love speaking to one another about leadership and other people, but we want it to actually influence, directly influence.

people's experience of work and also the outputs that you're having in your organisations. So to learn how to do that, learn from other leaders, I think is so, important. Again, very similar, Bryony, I think that's what we'll be focusing on learning this year. And in the growing space, this whole chime with Bryony from many of my voice notes over the last week or so, I need to learn, so very much kind of boundaries, but it goes bigger than boundaries, I think.

I need to learn and grow in the area of knowing I can't fix everything or everyone. And I've really struggled with that within the last couple of weeks, a couple of situations at work and outside of work. I just, when I see a problem, when I see something like not right, I just want to fix it. And Brian, he's been unbelievably helpful this week as of other friends around, that's not for you to fix. Put it down. Let it go. I put back to you like just...

Let it go. It is not for you to fix. But there is this deep part of me that thinks, but I could help fix it. But just because you can do something doesn't mean you should be doing it. Doesn't mean it's even your place to do it. And I need to grow to be okay with that. Get to a stage that it's kind of comfortable with like, no, that situation's going on. Like that's actually not for me to fix. I can support, but I don't need to fix.

I think finding that balance is going to be big for me next year. And that's so powerful, isn't it? Because that's something that, you know, if you didn't think of leadership as a practice, Lindsay, you wouldn't have reached this conclusion that this is something like a mindset and a way of being and a way of like leading that you need to kind of look at and think about differently. But it's because it's only by having that practice that you do of being really reflective and thinking like...

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actually these behaviours that have got me so far in my career and in my leadership practice, it's worked for me. Now it's not working anymore and I need to change it. But it's only by doing that reflection that you can actually adapt and change your practice, isn't it? And it's not that it's like some of these things are quite deep rooted, aren't they? Like these, know, if yours is like being a fixer, mine would be maybe being a bit of a perfectionist, right?

And it's hard to change them. So you can see how it would take, like it's going to take some time, but now you've got the awareness, right? And you've kind of thought about into the future, where do I want to get to with this? So what do I want to aim for to get to with this by the end of 2025? Again, you've got then some, you can start thinking each month, like how is that going? Have I, you know, or just in those moments you can catch yourself like, no, I'm not the fixer anymore. I can, I could be something different. Yeah, no, absolutely. And that's why I think

using like a lot of our products. So our reflection templates in our Walk the Week. Because I think what's really important is that you notice that pattern throughout the year. And if you actually, if you're like Brian and I, and you're printing out kind of, you've got physical copies of your Walk the Week and you're scribbling down every week at the end of the week, in the beginning, like...

You can go back and look at these and be really reflective. And it's almost like a journal that you've kept throughout the year. So you can see your progression, like Bryony said, right at the beginning of today. And I think really noticing a pattern in your behavior. So A, you can see how much progress you've actually made or no, actually that's still an area of growth that I need to work on. And I think this has probably been an area of growth of mine for a long time, but it ebbs and flows.

but it's something that I know that probably taking up too much of my energy this year and needs to take up less next year. So it's definitely something that I want to grow on. Amazing. I love those, Lindsay. We'll see. So then the final thing that we wanted to share with you around kind of thinking about goals and habits from a different perspective is more about habits, right? And so I think the, instead of again, thinking of them, of like things like I am going to go to the gym.

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you know, seven times a week, every week, really things that you're not going to like, that's not achievable. Who's doing well, maybe for a very small minority of people, not who's doing that. It's about thinking about things that you can actually do. And I think one of the ways, the really powerful ways that I like to think about this is thinking about habits for the year and my kind of stop, keep, start framework. And again, just picking one thing for each of them, like one thing I'm going to try and stop.

one thing to keep and one thing to start. And again, it's like an adaptive process and you can like revisit each month and then think, well, what do I need to stop, keep, start each month? That kind of thing. But just be attuned to thinking about what are those habits that are really kind of serving you and ones that actually you need to build on and keep or ones that you think actually, I'm going to experiment with that and see what happens there. So for me,

One of the things I always do in January is a dry January. So that's my stop for the month is stop drinking. I mean, I don't drink loads anyway. But by doing that, it's like a signal to me that my health is my most important priority. And you talked about that earlier, Lindsay, with your big birthday, not 50. But because for me, like if I'm not healthy, then nothing else in my life is working right. Like I can't be the parent and the...

wife or the friend or the sister or the leader that I want to be. Like health is my most important priority and having been in periods of life where work and leadership has really burnt me out, know, and work has really taken its toll on my health. I like to start the year really focusing on reminding myself that health is my ultimate priority in life. So I'm going to stop drinking and do the dry January. And then I'm going to start.

doing a daily walk. And I really love this wintery time of year. And I love being out in the fresh cold and feeling that on your face. You you've got your woolly hat on. Obviously I've got a big pom pom on the hat. Probably I've knitted the hat myself. Got quite a collection at this point. But again, taking time to get out from the desk and reset myself for the day, take an intentional pause.

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I always find it really helpful for how my day feels, the amount of creativity and energy I have, but I'm not good at prioritizing it because in the moment when you get that little window around lunchtime, I'm like, no, it feels more productive to stay here and write these four emails. It's not a good choice. So I'm gonna start and build an actual habit of getting outside every day. Amazing. And then finally on Keep.

We've got into a really good rhythm in our team of like connection through our one-to-ones. And this is something that we talk about a lot in Ludum, don't we? Like how important those one-to-ones are. And I feel like I've got a really good relationship with all of my staff because I've really, we have invested together in making time for those, those one-to-ones each week and each fortnight, really prioritizing them. So that's something I'm definitely keeping as part of my leadership practice. What about you, Lindsay? Love it. Good. So what am going to stop doing? So whilst I said, did say earlier that I have been, I've definitely been

Ruthless and I'm going to use the word ruthless because I do also say to people at work, look, I'm going to have to be a bit ruthless here, but in a kind way, like it's in a kind, respectful way. But I do notice when I look at probably my kind of the balance of kind of work and life and when I think about kind of next year, like how actually full on it could be, depending on what kind of we choose, then I just need to stop, stop feeling like I have to respond to people immediately.

Right. So this weekend felt really quite overwhelming. And that I noticed on my phone, I put my phone down for a couple of hours playing with little boy and like I had a lot of messages and I had a message from a friend. And then when I looked back, I thought they've messaged three times previously and I hadn't responded to any of the messages and the feeling of guilt that I had. And I had a similar experience at work when I had a message, an email from someone at work. And I thought, I just haven't.

haven't responded to them. And I kept thinking, felt like I just, I needed to do it kind of in the moment, otherwise I just wouldn't respond, which I'm sure a lot of us kind of, that a lot of us can relate to. But that feeling of, it's okay not to respond immediately. Like it's okay not to reply at all, unless you don't kind of want to. But I just feel like I need to try and stop that feeling of, I must respond immediately.

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And if I don't, like, how do I, how would I stop that feeling of, like, I feel awful? Like that kind of sense of, I've let someone down because I didn't respond to their message, giving me a little update that they were, a lovely update, but it's like, there was nothing critical to respond to. And it relates to something like I have a couple of friends who, when you're, they do reply like a couple of days, a couple of days or weeks later, and they'll start their message with, I'm really sorry. So I banned that.

banned people from apologizing in text messages or whatever it is because there's no need to apologize. You wouldn't have sent a letter and years gone by and said, I'm really sorry this is six weeks late. No, no, no, it's fine. It's arrived. But I think I need to stop feeling that need to kind of respond immediately to be able to just say, no, it's okay. And I will come back to it and I respond on my time when I can.

So that's one thing I'm going to stop doing. I'm going to keep drinking. Sorry, it's my year of celebration. Again, not a heavy, heavy drinker. Certainly can't handle it now. But I am actually going to keep drinking in January. I, yeah, I've got no explanation other than like, yeah, I'll still have a little glass of wine or a pina colada. think you've got to celebrate where you can then. know, think the year of celebration, like it's absolutely fine. I'll have to be sampling wines for the birthday, obviously.

And then start doing. So one of the things that I'm going to start doing in come January is starting to say yes. So I speak a lot about saying no to things, but actually I'm going to start saying yes more often to the things that I really want to do. Because when I actually have looked at this year, I've thought there are definitely a couple of things there that I've thought, gosh, wouldn't that be fun? Or I've seen people do things and thought, looks amazing. And

I could have been in that situation where people said, can you do this? Do you want to do this? And I've thought, I've probably made an excuse. I've probably said, I can't do that because I have a child. I can't do that because I'm too busy at work. I found an excuse, right? So I definitely want to start saying yes. And I've noticed that at work, kind of in a leadership context, I've definitely noticed.

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There being probably some situations, some experiences that would have really helped me grow as a leader. And I maybe thought, I'm really busy at the moment at work. There's a project on this week or next week. I haven't really got time for that. But where actually what I should have done is said yes to it and made the time. I should have prioritized it. So I should have said, yes, that is actually going to help me grow. And it's going to help me and my team for the next, however long.

So I'm definitely going to start saying yes to stuff that is definitely going to help me kind of in my leadership kind of content in my leadership practice, but also my team as well. I love that. I love it. So you've got both like the saying no and the saying yes, but I mean like it, that feels really aligned with, you know, your values and you can tell the kinds of things that you're going to say yes to. And I think we all feel like that. Don't we actually then like.

And that's why saying no is important because then when the thing comes along that you really want to say yes to, that's going to be really great for your leadership, for your development, for your career. If you haven't said no to enough other things, you haven't got space to say yes. And you don't want that. You don't. need to leave some margin, don't you? So I love that one. Absolutely. And it's again, so back to like the beginning, we spoke about me filling my diary for the year. Like I want to look at my diary at work, my calendar at work and it to be quite sparse. I don't want it to be.

were things I wanted to have some space so that I can say yes. yeah. Amazing. Love that. So there we are. That's our kind of walk the year reflection for you all and our kind of a different take on setting goals and habits for the year. So if you'd like to download our free guide to help you do that, please go to www.leadtheroom.co.uk and there's a link direct to it in our in the show notes and on our blog. And we'd love to hear

how you get on. But there's something so powerful about starting with being proud of yourself and all of the leadership, amazing stuff that you have done this year. So really encourage you to download it and think about your own leadership practice over the last year and then think about what you want to do over the next year. Absolutely. We'll speak to you soon.

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people who are buzzing with ideas and the courage to try them out and a place where you and the team can't wait for the weekly meeting. By listening to this episode, you were building your skills to become the leader that can make all this and more happen. But we want to hear from you. Tag us in your stories, send us a DM about your walk the week on Instagram so we can learn what's resonating with you most. And if you're up for helping us out and taking a moment to rate and review the podcast, send us a screenshot to hello at leadtheroom.co.uk

so we can send you our 90-day Ludiciate Refresh as a thank you. Keep experimenting and we can't wait to see you next week.